When I first moved to NYC, everything that happened on the subway was fascinating and exciting. I found an endless source of delicious “material” for my stories. What more could a writer ask for? After logging hundreds (maybe thousands) of hours commuting on the New York City subway, I’ve become desensitized to the craziness underground. I realized this not long ago when a guy sitting next to me fell asleep with his head on my shoulder and I didn’t even budge.
https://vine.co/v/hqnjuQzIpEx

So with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, you know you’ve been riding the subway too long if…

  1. If you hear the bing-bong of the train doors closing in your dreams…
  2. If you don’t even look up when the strolling mariachi band starts working the car…
  3. If you have an instinct about which end of the platform to watch for the next arriving train, even if you’ve never been to that station before…
  4. If you’ve ever watched rats scurrying along the tracks and thought that they’re looking a little lean these days…
  5. If you can spot tourists at 100 paces even if they’re not carrying maps or cameras…
    1. Advanced: If you can correctly identify a suburban commuter…
  6. If you’ve been cursed by the Chinese Curses Lady…
  7. If your train has been delayed by a sick passenger and your first thought was, “Great! Now I’m going to be late to work”…
  8. If you watched a woman getting her ear pierced and thought you could do a better job…
  9. If you’ve seen a co-worker or neighbor in the same train car and the thought of making small talk for the next thirty minutes filled you with dread…
  10. If you’ve ever seen a man pull out a packet of dental floss and start flossing his teeth…
  11. If you can remember using tokens…
  12. If you speak “conductor”…
  13. If you’ve gotten into an argument with a total stranger about how to get from Harlem to Williamsburg…
  14. If you’ve ever jumped the turnstile…
  15. If you’ve ever fallen asleep and woken up in the tunnel where the train turns around…

Do you have any subway escapades (in NYC or elsewhere)? Share in the comments! 

In honor of the adventure that is riding the subway, I’m offering my short essay collection, The Subway Chronicles: More Scenes from Life in New York, FREE for two days only (Friday and Saturday) on Kindle. These will be the last two free days before the collection is available at B&N for the Nook.

Have a great weekend everyone!

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